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You’ve been staring at the card for ten minutes.
You’ve typed and deleted the same text three times. You know you need to say something — you just can’t figure out what that something is. Not because you don’t care. Because you care too much to get it wrong.
That’s the cruel trick of condolence messages. The more the person means to you, the harder it is to find the words. And so people wait. They go quiet. They convince themselves the moment has passed — when really, there’s no such thing as too late when someone is grieving.
These condolence messages for loss exist to break that paralysis. Two hundred of them. Across every relationship, every situation, every level of closeness.
Pick one. Change one word if you need to. Send it.
That’s the whole job.
What are condolence messages? Condolence messages are words offered to someone who is experiencing grief or loss. A good condolence message acknowledges the pain without trying to explain or minimize it. It says: I see what you’re going through, and you are not alone in it.
💬 Best Condolence Message Example: “I keep picking up my phone to text you something comforting and putting it back down — because nothing feels like enough. So here’s what I have: I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.” This works because it’s honest about the difficulty of the moment — and that honesty is what makes it land. It’s not trying to fix anything. It’s just showing up.
“This is part of our complete sympathy collection. For 200+ messages covering every type of loss, visit our sympathy messages complete guide
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Short Condolence Messages (Because Sometimes Less Hits Harder)
Long messages have their place. But sometimes a short condolence message — direct, warm, no filler — does exactly what a paragraph can’t. These work in texts, on cards, in DMs, in the moments where you need to reach out and you have about thirty seconds to do it.
- “I’m so sorry. No words — just love.”
- “Thinking of you every single day.”
- “You shouldn’t have to go through this.”
- “My heart is with your whole family.”
- “I’m here. That’s not changing.”
- “This is awful, and I’m so sorry.”
- “Grief is love that has nowhere left to go. Yours had so far to reach.”
- “Please don’t disappear on me. I’ve got you.”
- “There aren’t enough words. There’s enough love, though.”
- “I won’t pretend I know what to say. I just know I’m here.”
- “Sending you so much warmth right now.”
- “You don’t have to be okay. Not yet. Not with me.”
- “They were so loved. And so are you.”
- “Holding you close in my heart today.”
- “I’m sorry, I’m here, and I love you.”
Heartfelt Condolence Messages (When You Want to Say Something Real)
These are for the people you love — the ones who deserve more than a line. Use them in letters, in long texts, in cards where you run out of space and write up the sides. These deepest condolences messages are written to feel like you, not like a template.
- “I’ve been sitting with this for days trying to figure out what to say. And I think the truth is, there’s nothing that covers it. So let me just say: I’m here, I love you, and I’m not one of the people who disappears after the first two weeks.”
- “You gave them so much love during their life. I watched you do it. That love didn’t disappear when they did — it just changed shape. And it lives in you now.”
- “Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it doesn’t ask permission. Let it be as big as it needs to be. I’ll be here on the other side of it.”
- “The thing about losing someone important is that the whole world keeps moving — and you’re standing completely still. I see that. I’m not rushing you.”
- “I keep thinking about [them] and the way they could make anyone feel like the most important person in the room. That’s a rare thing. So is the love they had for you.”
- “There’s no version of this that doesn’t hurt. And I won’t insult you by pretending otherwise. What I will say is that you are surrounded by people who love you — including me.”
- “I know it might feel like the condolence messages will stop and the world will go back to normal. Ours won’t. I’ll still be thinking about you when everyone else has moved on.”
- “I’m not going to ask how you’re doing, because I think we both know the answer. Instead I’m just going to say: I’m here whenever you’re ready, and there’s no expiry on that.”
- “The last time I saw them, they talked about you with so much pride. I want you to hold onto that.”
- “You didn’t just lose someone you loved. You lost someone who knew you in a very particular way. That kind of knowing is irreplaceable, and I’m so deeply sorry.”
- “Please don’t feel like you have to carry this gracefully. You’re allowed to be a mess. You’re allowed to not know what to do. That’s what the rest of us are here for.”
- “A loss like this changes things. I don’t say that to frighten you — I say it because I think you already know, and I want you to know that I know it too. We’ll navigate the changed version together.”
- “They made the world warmer. So do you. And right now you need some of that warmth back. I’m here to give you as much of it as I’ve got.”
- “There are a hundred things I want to say and none of them are the right thing. So I’ll just say the truest thing: you are so loved, right now, in this exact moment of your grief.”
- “I’ve been where you are. Not this loss — yours is yours alone. But I know the particular exhaustion of grief. And I know it does eventually become something you can carry. I’ll help you get there.”
Condolence Messages for a Card (What to Write When the Blank Page Stares Back)
Condolence cards are permanent. They get kept in drawers, re-read in the middle of the night, tucked into books. These sympathy note messages are written to last — warm enough to feel personal, settled enough to hold up over time.
Need more help with card wording? Our guide to writing sympathy cards covers exactly how to structure what you write.
- “With love and the deepest sympathy from our family to yours.”
- “May the warmth of those who love you help ease what words cannot.”
- “Remembering [them] with so much fondness — and holding you close.”
- “Wishing you more peace than pain in the coming days.”
- “Your whole family is in our hearts. We are so, so sorry.”
- “May quiet moments bring you comfort, and may you always feel surrounded by love.”
- “There aren’t enough lines in this card. Just know: we’re thinking of you constantly.”
- “Sending every bit of warmth and love I have. It’s all yours right now.”
- “A life well-lived, deeply loved, and never forgotten. With our sincerest condolences.”
- “May beautiful memories be the thing that gets you through.”
- “We grieve alongside you — and we’re grateful to have known them.”
- “May you feel held, even on the days when it’s hardest to feel anything.”
- “Our hearts are with you. Please reach out whenever you need us.”
- “With love, with sorrow, and with total confidence that you will carry this with grace.”
- “No card is big enough for this. But our love for you is.”
Condolence Text Messages (Send One Right Now — Seriously)
Let’s be honest: most people wait too long. They want to say the right thing, so they end up saying nothing. These condolence text messages are built to be sent immediately — short enough that the other person doesn’t feel obligated to write a novel back, real enough that they actually mean something.
- “Just heard. I’m so sorry. Text me if you need anything at all, any time.”
- “Thinking of you today. No need to reply — I just wanted you to know.”
- “I’m so sorry for your loss. I love you and I’m here.”
- “Hey — can I drop food off this week? I want to do something. Just say when.”
- “I’ve been thinking about you nonstop since I heard. Please call me when you’re ready.”
- “Sending you so much love across the distance right now.”
- “You don’t have to respond to this. I just couldn’t let the day go by without reaching out.”
- “I’m so sorry. That’s all I’ve got. I love you.”
- “Checking in — not expecting anything, just want you to know someone’s thinking about you.”
- “Please don’t feel like you have to hold it together. Not with me.”
- “I’m here. I’ll keep checking in. You don’t have to do anything.”
- “I wish I was there with you right now. I’m so sorry I’m not. Call me anytime.”
- “This is terrible and I’m so sorry. I’ll be around whenever you’re ready.”
- “I love you. I’m so sorry. Please eat something today.”
- “No words. Just — I’m here and I love you and that’s not changing.”
Condolence Messages from a Close Friend (Drop the Formality)
When it’s your person — your best friend, your ride-or-die, your family-by-choice — the last thing they need is something that sounds like a Hallmark card. These are the messages you send when formality would feel like a betrayal.
- “I have absolutely no idea what to say. So I’m just going to show up. Is Thursday okay?”
- “You’ve been there for every hard thing in my life. I’ve got this one.”
- “I keep bursting into tears and I’m not even the one who lost them. I can only imagine what you’re carrying.”
- “You know that I am annoyingly persistent when someone I love is hurting. Consider yourself warned.”
- “I’m not going to pretend I know how to fix this. I’m just not going anywhere.”
- “Can we just sit together for a bit? We don’t have to talk. I just don’t want you to be alone.”
- “I miss them too. And I’m so grateful to you for letting me know them.”
- “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you right now. Name it.”
- “I love you. Full stop. The rest we’ll figure out.”
- “You’ve always been the strong one for everyone else. Let me be that for you right now.”
- “Tell me your favorite memory of them. I’m not asking to be polite — I genuinely want to hear it.”
- “Grief is messy and weird and comes at strange times. I’m built for exactly that kind of mess.”
- “You loved them so well. That matters more than you know right now.”
- “Remember: I’m the friend who shows up with food and doesn’t ask questions. Expect me Tuesday.”
- “You’ve got me for as long as this takes. And then some.”
Professional Condolence Messages (Warm Without Overstepping)
Expressing condolences in a work context means threading a needle — you want to be genuinely warm without making the person feel uncomfortable. These hit that balance.
- “Please accept my sincere condolences. I hope you feel supported by your whole team during this time.”
- “On behalf of everyone here — we are so sorry for your loss. Please take all the time you need.”
- “My deepest condolences to you and your family. Please don’t give work a second thought right now.”
- “We were all very sorry to hear your news. You have our full support.”
- “Please know that everything on this end is handled. Your only job right now is to take care of yourself.”
- “With heartfelt sympathy from all of us. We’re thinking of you.”
- “Please accept my condolences — and please don’t hesitate to reach out if there’s anything I can do.”
- “We’re holding you in our thoughts. Take whatever time you need.”
- “I was deeply saddened to hear about your loss. Please know the team is here for you.”
- “Wishing you comfort and peace. The office will be here when you’re ready — no rush.”
- “My heart goes out to you and your loved ones. Please lean on us if we can help.”
- “With genuine sympathy — we hope the days ahead bring you some moments of rest.”
Religious & Faith-Based Condolence Messages
For those who find comfort in faith, these bereavement messages offer spiritual grounding alongside human warmth. Use them when you know — or sense — that faith is part of how this person grieves.
- “May God’s peace be with you in a way that goes beyond what words can reach.”
- “I’m praying for your whole family — for rest, for comfort, for grace.”
- “May their soul be held in God’s love, and may you feel that same love surrounding you.”
- “You are covered in prayer. I hope you can feel it.”
- “I trust that they are at rest now, and I trust that you will be held through what comes next.”
- “May the Lord be close to the brokenhearted today — and always. You are in my prayers.”
- “Faith doesn’t take away the grief. But I hope it gives you somewhere to put it.”
- “Praying that peace finds you — not the forced kind, but the real and quiet kind.”
- “They are known and loved by something far greater than any of us. And so are you.”
- “I believe love is eternal. What you had with them is not gone — it’s just changed.”
- “May God hold you gently through every hard moment ahead.”
- “Lifting you and your family up in prayer, today and in all the days that follow.”
Messages for the Anniversary of a Loss (The Days That Sneak Up on You)
Grief anniversaries are real — and they often hit when people least expect it. Reaching out on these days is one of the most meaningful things you can do. Most people don’t. Be the one who does.
- “I haven’t forgotten today. I haven’t forgotten them. And I haven’t forgotten you.”
- “Thinking of you especially today. This date doesn’t pass without you on my mind.”
- “One year feels so different from the outside than I imagine it does from yours. I hope today is gentler than yesterday.”
- “Their birthday always makes me think of you. Holding you close today.”
- “Grief anniversaries are their own kind of hard. I’m here if you need to talk — or if you don’t.”
- “You’ve carried so much this past year. I hope there have been moments of lightness, too.”
- “I was thinking about them today and had to reach out. I hope that’s okay.”
- “Time passes differently when you’re missing someone. I hope today brings you some peace.”
- “You are still in my thoughts — not just today, but always.”
- “The calendar marks the day. Your heart has been carrying it every day. I see that.”
- “Missing them alongside you today.”
- “A year goes by so fast for the rest of the world. I know it doesn’t feel that way for you. I’m here.”
RIP Messages (Short, Direct, and Genuinely Meaningful)
For social media tributes, caption posts, or moments when you need something brief and real — these RIP messages don’t traffic in platitudes.
- “Rest well. You were loved beyond measure.”
- “Gone, but so far from forgotten.”
- “The world is quieter without you in it.”
- “A life fully lived and deeply felt. Rest in peace.”
- “Thank you for every moment you gave us.”
- “We’ll carry you forward. Rest now.”
- “Some people leave marks on the world. You were one of them. RIP.”
- “Your light doesn’t disappear — it just lives somewhere new. Rest in peace.”
- “Remembered fondly. Missed constantly. Rest easy.”
- “The love you spread keeps going. Rest in peace.”
- “Until we meet again. Gone too soon and loved forever.”
- “You mattered. Deeply, truly, always. Rest in perfect peace.”
Grief Messages for Someone Who’s Really Struggling
Sometimes people don’t need condolences anymore — they need to know that someone still sees them, months later, when the world has moved on. These messages are for that moment.
For a deeper understanding of what prolonged grief does to a person, Psychology Today’s guide to grief and human connection is worth a read.
- “I’m not going to ask if you’re okay. I’m going to ask what you need — and then actually do it.”
- “You don’t have to be getting better at any particular speed. There’s no finish line here.”
- “Some days are just hard. This is allowed.”
- “I keep checking on you because I care — not because I expect anything from you.”
- “Grief isn’t weakness. It’s the tax on loving someone deeply. You loved very deeply.”
- “You’re not too much. Not even a little bit.”
- “If you need someone to just sit in silence with you — I can do that.”
- “Whatever you’re feeling today is valid. Even if it’s nothing. Even if it’s everything.”
- “Please be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else going through this.”
- “You’ve been holding a lot. I notice. I’m here.”
- “I’ll keep showing up, even when you don’t respond. Especially when you don’t respond.”
- “There’s no rule that says you have to be okay by now. Anyone who’s implied otherwise is wrong.”
The Copy & Paste Section — Just Use These 👇
For when you need something ready in sixty seconds. Each one is written for a specific situation and formatted to send as-is.
Text message: “Hey — I heard what happened and I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t feel like you need to reply. I just wanted you to know I’m thinking about you and I’m here whenever.”
Sympathy card: “With our deepest condolences and so much love. There’s nothing we can say that touches this kind of loss — but please know you’re surrounded by people who care about you deeply and are here for whatever you need.”
Close friend: “I don’t know what to do with myself knowing you’re going through this. I love you, I have no useful words, and I will be at your door with food and no expectations by the end of the week.”
Work colleague: “I was so sorry to hear about your loss. Please don’t worry about a thing here — everything is covered. Take the time you need, and please reach out if there’s anything I can do to help from this end.”
Someone far away: “I keep wishing I could just be there with you. I’m so sorry I can’t. Please know I’m thinking about you every day, and I’m only ever a call away — any time, day or night.”
Sudden or unexpected loss: “I’m in shock. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. I’m so sorry — this is devastating, and I want you to know I’m here for absolutely anything you need, no questions asked.”
Loss of a parent: “Losing a parent changes everything — the way you see time, the way you see yourself. I don’t have words big enough for that. I just have love, and I have time, and I have you.”
Loss of a child: “I’m so deeply, heartbreakingly sorry. This is an unimaginable loss and your grief is immeasurable. I love you and I am here — in whatever way you need me to be.”
Loss of a pet: “Please don’t let anyone minimize this. They were your family. They loved you back fully and unconditionally. That kind of loss is real and it deserves to be grieved. I’m so sorry.”
Holiday bereavement: “The holidays hit differently when someone is missing from them. I’ve been thinking about you and your family so much this season. Please know that you’re in my heart — today and always.”
Words to Skip — And What to Say Instead
A few condolence letter and message habits that do more harm than good — with better options for each.
❌ “At least they didn’t suffer.” Why it stings: Any sentence that starts with “at least” is minimizing the loss, even unintentionally. Better: “I’m grateful they were loved so well.”
❌ “God needed another angel.” Why it stings: It implies someone else’s need mattered more than yours — and it can land badly even for people of faith. Better: “I’m holding you in my heart and in my prayers.”
❌ “You need to be strong for the kids / family.” Why it stings: It assigns the grieving person a role that suppresses their own grief. Better: “You’re allowed to fall apart. The people around you can hold things for a while.”
❌ “I completely understand how you feel.” Why it stings: You don’t — and saying so can feel dismissive. Better: “I can’t fully understand, but I want to. Tell me about them.”
❌ “You should see someone about this.” Why it stings: Unsolicited advice — even well-meaning — can feel like a judgment. Better: “I’m here if you need to talk. And I’m here if you don’t.”
❌ “They wouldn’t want you to be sad.” Why it stings: Grief is the appropriate response to loss. This message asks someone to override it. Better: “I think they’d want you to take care of yourself right now.”
❌ “Let me know if you need anything.” Why it stings: Vague offers are almost never acted on — grief makes it impossible to know what you need. Better: Be specific. “I’m bringing food Saturday. What sounds okay to eat?”
One-Line Condolence Messages (Save These for Pin Graphics)
- “You don’t have to hold it together right now.”
- “Loss this real deserves grief this big.”
- “I’m not going anywhere. Not today, not next month.”
- “The love they left behind is still here.”
- “Some silences are made to be sat in together.”
- “Grief is the price of loving well.”
- “You are more held than you feel right now.”
- “There’s no right way to miss someone.”
- “Showing up imperfectly beats staying quiet perfectly.”
- “You were seen. They were loved. That never leaves.”
- “It’s okay to not be okay yet.”
- “Their absence says everything about how much they mattered.”
- “You carry them with you — that’s not loss, that’s love.”
- “Distance doesn’t change how much I’m thinking of you.”
- “The world changed the day you lost them. That’s allowed to be true.”
More Condolence Messages by Relationship
For the Loss of a Mother
- “A mother holds a particular place in the world. And in your world. I’m so sorry she’s gone.”
- “Everything she gave you lives on in who you are. That’s her, still here.”
- “You loved her so well. And she knew it.”
- “Losing your mum changes everything. I’m sorry you’re in that now.”
- “She raised someone who shows up for people. I hope you’ll let people show up for you.”
For the Loss of a Father
- “A dad’s absence leaves a very specific silence. I hope you find peace in it eventually.”
- “He was so proud of you — and he had every reason to be.”
- “Losing a father is one of those losses that keeps surfacing. I’ll be here each time it does.”
- “Everything he taught you is still with you. That’s something.”
- “I’m so sorry. He was a good man, and he was lucky to have you.”
For the Loss of a Partner or Spouse
- “Losing the person who knew you best is its own kind of alone. I’m so sorry.”
- “The love you two had was visible to everyone around you. That kind of love doesn’t disappear.”
- “Please let people in right now. You don’t have to do this alone.”
- “I can’t imagine the quiet. But I’m here to help fill a little of it — whenever you’re ready.”
- “You gave each other something really rare. The world was better for it.”
For the Loss of a Child
- “There are no words. None. I’m just so deeply, devastatingly sorry.”
- “Your love for them was extraordinary. That’s not past tense.”
- “I won’t pretend to understand. I’ll just be here.”
- “A parent’s grief for a child is unlike anything. Please let people carry some of it.”
- “They were so loved. So truly, completely loved.”
For Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss
- “This is a real loss. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
- “You were already their parent. Your grief is legitimate and it matters.”
- “I’m so sorry for the baby you’ll always carry with you.”
- “There’s no small version of this. It’s big and it’s real and I’m here.”
- “You deserved to bring them home. I’m so sorry you didn’t get to.”
5 Tips for Writing Your Own Condolence Message
If you want to write something personal from scratch, here’s what actually makes expressing condolences land — from someone who’s thought about it a lot.
Tip 1: Say their name. Writing “I’m so sorry about your mum” is warmer than “I’m sorry for your loss.” Writing “I keep thinking about Sarah and how she always made everyone laugh” is warmer still. Use names. They matter.
Tip 2: Don’t wait until you have the perfect thing. The longer you wait, the harder it gets — and the more the grieving person notices the silence. Send something honest and imperfect today. According to research on the emotional impact of grief on the body, social isolation during grief has measurable physical consequences. Reaching out matters.
Tip 3: Be honest about not knowing what to say. “I don’t know what to say, but I didn’t want to say nothing” is one of the most genuinely comforting things you can write. It’s real. Grieving people are exhausted by performances of certainty. Honesty cuts through.
Tip 4: Offer something specific. “Let me know if you need anything” puts the burden on the grieving person. Instead, try: “I’m bringing food Tuesday — does pasta work?” or “I’ll be outside your house in an hour if you want company.” Concrete beats vague every time.
Tip 5: Show up later, too. Most people disappear after week one. A message six weeks out — “I was thinking about you today and just wanted to check in” — can mean more than everything sent at the beginning. Grief is long. The psychology of grief and human connection shows us that ongoing support matters far more than the initial outpouring.
Should You Send a Short or Long Condolence Message?
There’s no universal answer — but here’s a quick way to decide.
Short works best when: you’re texting, you’re a more distant connection, you’re following up after already reaching out, or the person seems to need space more than words right now.
Long works best when: you’re writing a letter or card, you’re a close friend or family member, you want to share a specific memory, or time has passed and you want to acknowledge that you’ve been thinking about them.
When in doubt — go shorter. A short message that’s honest beats a long one that feels like it’s trying too hard.
For relationship-specific guidance, our full condolence messages guide by relationship type has exactly that. And if you’re looking for something more tangible alongside your words, our thoughtful sympathy gift guide has ideas that pair beautifully with a heartfelt note.
“Sending late? Our belated condolence messages remind you it’s never too late to reach out.”
Additional Messages Worth Bookmarking
- “The fact that you’re reading this means you care enough to get it right. That’s everything.”
- “You’re doing better than you think you are.”
- “Grief doesn’t ask for permission. Neither does love.”
- “They picked you. That says everything about them — and about you.”
- “You’re allowed to have good days. And you’re allowed to feel guilty about them.”
- “Whatever shape your grief takes — it’s the right shape.”
- “You’re not broken. You’re bereft. Those are different things.”
- “Please eat. Please drink water. I know that sounds small. It isn’t.”
- “The world got a little dimmer. But you’re still here, and that matters.”
- “You don’t owe anyone your composure.”
- “You can miss them and still have hope for what comes next.”
- “I’ll be here in the loud moments and in the quiet ones.”
- “Some absences make rooms feel different forever. I know.”
- “They gave you so much. And you gave it back to them, tenfold.”
- “Let yourself be loved right now. You deserve that.”
- “I don’t have a timeline for when this gets easier. I just know it eventually does.”
- “You don’t have to explain your grief to anyone — not even yourself.”
- “I’m proud of you for getting through each day.”
- “Their story doesn’t end — it just continues through everyone who loved them.”
- “I’m sending you all the warmth I have. It’s yours right now.”
- “They knew they were loved. You made sure of that.”
- “Whatever you need — space, company, silence, noise — I can be that.”
- “Grief makes the world feel very small. I hope it feels a little less so today.”
- “I’ll be the person who still mentions their name when everyone else has gone quiet.”
- “This is one of the hardest things. And you are not doing it alone.”
❓ FAQs About Condolence Messages
What is the best condolence message to send after a loss?
The best one is the one that feels most like you. Honest, specific, and free of clichés. A message like “I don’t have the right words, but I didn’t want to go silent on you” consistently lands better than anything polished or formal. Keep the focus on the person, name their loss specifically if you can, and don’t try to explain or fix anything.
What are some short condolence message examples I can use right now?
Here are a few ready to go: “I’m so sorry. Thinking of you every day.” / “No words — just love. I’m here.” / “You shouldn’t have to go through this. I’m right here.” Short condolence messages don’t require apology — sometimes the shorter, the more sincere.
What do you write in a condolence card for the loss of a loved one?
Keep it specific and keep it warm. Mention the person by name. Share one memory or observation if you can. End with an offer of presence — not “let me know if you need anything,” but something concrete. A strong sympathy note might read: “We’re so sorry for the loss of [Name]. They brought so much light to every room. We love you, and we’re here.”
Should I send a condolence card or a condolence text?
Both, ideally. A text is immediate — it reaches the person in real time and doesn’t require a response. A card is lasting — people re-read them for years. If you can only do one, match the medium to your relationship. Close friend? Text first, then a card. Professional contact? A card or formal note is more appropriate.
Is it okay to say “I don’t know what to say” in a condolence message?
Not only is it okay — it’s often the most comforting thing you can say. It’s honest. Grieving people are surrounded by performances of certainty that can feel hollow. When you admit that words aren’t enough, you’re actually saying something true about the magnitude of their loss. Research from Psychology Today on grief and human connection consistently shows that presence and honesty matter more than perfect phrasing. And as Harvard Health’s research on the emotional impact of grief confirms — reaching out at all, even imperfectly, has real benefits.
Need the right words during a difficult time? Take a look at our guides to condolence messages, sympathy messages for a friend, sympathy messages for a colleague, sympathy messages for a boss, and sympathy messages for a neighbor for thoughtful words that show you care.
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